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Nathaniel Branden Quotes
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Productive achievement is a consequence and an expression of health and self-esteem, not its cause.
Nathaniel Branden
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Integrity is congruence between what you know, what you profess, and what you do.
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Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of the misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves-their convictions and their aspirations-every day. There is nothing noble about it. It takes far more courage to fight for your values than to relinquish them.
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The highest compliment one can be paid by another human being is to be told: 'Because of what you are, you are essential to my happiness.'
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If you are an adult, you are responsible for your life and well-being. No one owes you the fulfillment of your needs or wants; no one is here on earth to serve you. If you respect the principle of self-ownership, you understand that no one else owns you and that you do not own anyone else. Only on this understanding can there be peace on earth and good will among human beings.
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It is a curious paradox of human history that a doctrine that tells human beings to regard themselves as sacrificial animals has been accepted as a doctrine representing benevolence and love for mankind.
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Suffering is just about the easiest of all human activities; being happy is just about the hardest. And happiness requires, not surrender to guilt, but emancipation from guilt.
Nathaniel Branden
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To attain "success" without attaining positive self-esteem is to be condemned to feeling like an imposter anxiously awaiting exposure.
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If you overcome your fear to ask someone for a date, a raise, or help with a project, that is an act of self-assertiveness. You are moving out into life rather than contracting and withdrawing.
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Your life is important. Whether you achieve what you want in life matters. Whether you are happy matters. Honor and fight for your highest potential. Self-realizatio n-the realization of the best within you-is the noblest goal of your existence.
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When you are frightened, you typically pull energy in to your center, seeing less, hearing less-shrinking consciousness precisely when you need to expand it.
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What is guilt? It is moral self-reproach-I did wrong when it was possible to have done otherwise.
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Self-respecting men and women think about the consequences of their actions-and are willing to take responsibility for them.
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Some people have a view of self and of the universe that obliges them to struggle for happiness, to yearn for happiness-"some time in the future"-perhaps next year or the year after that. But not now. Not at this moment. Not here. Here and now is too terrifyingly close, too terrifyingly immediate. They suffer from happiness anxiety.
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For children mastery entails struggle. This means they must be permitted to struggle. If parents inappropriately step in to "help"-out of impatience or solicitude-they sabotage important learning. Among other things, the child is unlikely to discover the advantages of perseverance and self-discipline.
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The tragedy of too many people is that they cannot allow happiness just to be there; they cannot leave it alone. Their sense of who they are and of what their destiny is cannot accommodate happiness. So they are drive to find ways to sabotage it.
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To exist without purpose is to be at the mercy of the chance encounter, the chance invitation, the chance phone call, the chance event- always being controlled by forces external to oneself.
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It is impressive to see a person who has been battered by life in many ways, who is torn by a variety of unsolved problems, who may be alienated from many aspects of the self-but who is still fighting, still struggling, still striving to find the path to a fulfilling existence, moved by the wisdom of knowing, "I am more than my problems."
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If you have high self-esteem, you might still know times of emotional suffering, but less often and with faster recovery-your resilience is greater.
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Positive self-esteem operates as, in effect, the immune system of the consciousness, providing resistance, strength, and a capacity for regeneration. When self-esteem is low, our resilience in the face of life's adversities is diminished. We crumble before vicissitudes that a healthier sense of self could vanquish. We tend to be more influenced by the desire to avoid pain than to experience joy. Negatives have more power over us than positives.
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If you face life without confidence in your own powers, you succumb too easily to setbacks and adversity; you lack the will to persevere.
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Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy. They wonder why others often fail to treat them with respect-not realizing that they have signaled others that it is not necessary to treat them with respect.
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The policy of seeking values from human beings by means of force, when practiced by an individual, is called crime. When practiced by a government, it is called statism...
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Living consciously is seeking to be aware of everything that bears on our interests, actions, values, purposes, and goals. It is the willingness to confront facts, pleasant or unpleasant. It is the desire to discover our mistakes and correct them... it is the quest to keep expanding our awareness and understanding, both of the world external to self and the world within.
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Be careful what you say to your children. They may agree with you.
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If we attach more importance to what other people believe than to what we know to be true - if we value belonging over being - we will not attain authenticity.
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Set goals that don't feel all that easy, that challenge you, stimulate you, and give you a chance to stretch and push yourself. That is where the power of growth lies.
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It is very difficult to accept in others emotions you cannot accept in yourself.
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It is true that people are sometimes hit by adversities beyond their control. But those so affected are better helped when they are awakened to the resources they do possess than when they are told they don't have any.
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The real basic power of an individual isn't what he or she knows; it's the ability to think and learn and face new challenges.
Nathaniel Branden
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Quote of the day
Women and men in the crowd meet and mingle, Yet with itself every soul standeth single.
Alice Cary
Nathaniel Branden
Born:
April 9, 1930
Died:
December 3, 2014
(aged 84)
Bio:
Nathaniel Branden was a Canadian American psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem.
Known for:
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (1994)
The Psychology of Self-Esteem (1969)
Honoring the Self (1983)
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem (1987)
The art of living consciously (1997)
Most used words:
self
esteem
love
desire
judgment
person
reality
people
achievement
man
pass
live
accept
feelings
choose
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