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Mitch Hedberg -
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I met a girl who works at the Double Tree front desk, she gave me her phone number. It's zero. I tried to
call
her from here and some other woman answered. I said "You sound older!"
Mitch Hedberg
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I can't tell you what hotel I'm stayin' in, but there are 2 trees involved. They said "Let's
call
this hotel 'Something Tree'". So they had a meeting, it was... It was quite short. "How 'bout 'Tree'?" "No." "'Double Tree'?" "Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!" "I had my heart set on 'Quadruple Tree'" "Well, we were almost there!
Mitch Hedberg
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You know they
call
corn-on-the-cob "corn-on-the-cob," right? But that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should
call
that "corn", and they should
call
every other version "corn-off-the-cob." It's not like if you cut off my arm you would
call
my arm "Mitch", but then reattach it and
call
it "Mitch-all-together."
Mitch Hedberg
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You know when a company wants to use letters in their phone number to be catchy? But often times they use too many letters. "Give us a
call
down here at 1-800-I-Really-Enjoy-Carpeting." It's too many letters, man. "Hello?" "Hold on, I'm only on 'Enjoy'! How did you know I was calling? I can see why they hired you!"
Mitch Hedberg
Quote of the day
Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors.
Edward Dahlberg
Mitch Hedberg
Born:
February 24, 1968
Died:
March 30, 2005
(aged 37)
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