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Bribes and boy bands. That's all you need to be a babysitter.
Mindy Kaling
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Everyone has a moment when they discover they love Amy Poehler.
Mindy Kaling
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Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.
Mindy Kaling
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There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.
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Albums that remind me of my childhood happiness make me incredibly sad now.
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In my mind, the sexiest thing in the world is the feeling that you're wanted.
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He was so popular you could barely look at him without being blinded by cool.
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I didn't completely forget how to be nice or feminine because I have a career.
Mindy Kaling
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There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes
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Besides, who wants to read about success, anyway? Successful serial murderers, maybe.
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Maybe the point is that any marriage is work, but you may as well pick work that you like.
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I initially thought you were ugly, but then you walked closer to me and I realized you were pretty.
Mindy Kaling
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Also, chubby people can never truly pull off ethereal the same way skinny people can never be jolly.
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Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.
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I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. A nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors.
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There are many teenage vampire books you could have purchased instead. I'm grateful you made this choice.
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Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered
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That's the one nice thing about being a dork about men: you can sometimes play it off as restrained and classy.
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One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about.
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Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty-five pull-ups. Pull-ups are tough, no joke.
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A remarkable thing about me is that the time that elapses between a sad thought and a flood of tears is three or four seconds.
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If I'm at a party where I'm not enjoying myself, I will put some cookies in my jacket pocket and leave without saying good-bye.
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Writing, at its heart, is a solitary pursuit, designed to make people depressoids, drug addicts, misanthropes, and antisocial weirdos.
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As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.
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My parents were supportive of my creativity but did not have a lot of patience for whimsy with zero production value. They had stuff to do.
Mindy Kaling
Quote of the day
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Ogden Nash
Mindy Kaling
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Born:
June 24, 1979
(age 44)
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