Marshall Rosenberg - Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (1998)

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All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.

Marshall Rosenberg
When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences, not on our own values.

Marshall Rosenberg
Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.

Marshall Rosenberg
As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.

Marshall Rosenberg
Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.

Marshall Rosenberg
At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.

Marshall Rosenberg
Fear of corporal punishment obscures children's awareness of the compassion underlying the parent's demands.

Marshall Rosenberg
Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.

Marshall Rosenberg
Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.

Marshall Rosenberg
NVC enhances inner communication by helping us translate negative internal messages into feelings and needs. Our ability to distinguish our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.

Marshall Rosenberg
The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.

Marshall Rosenberg
A second even more obvious sign is that the person will stop talking. If we are uncertain as to whether we have stayed long enough in the process, we can always ask, "Is there more that you wanted to say"?

Marshall Rosenberg
The more we empathize with the other party, the safer we feel.

Marshall Rosenberg
While we may not consider the way we talk to be 'violent,' our words often lead to hurt and pain, whether for others or for ourselves.

Marshall Rosenberg
The cause of anger lies in our thinking - in thoughts of blame and judgment.

Marshall Rosenberg
When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.

Marshall Rosenberg
When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.

Marshall Rosenberg
NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.

Marshall Rosenberg
Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values

Marshall Rosenberg
We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.

Marshall Rosenberg
NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.

Marshall Rosenberg