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Josh Billings Quotes
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I don't care how much a man talks, if he only says it in a few words.
Josh Billings
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I had rather be a pot-bellied seed cowcumber, flung carelessly on a wood pile to ripen, than tew be an old bachelor.
Josh Billings
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A man's reputation is something like his coat, there is certain chemicals that will take the stains and grease spots out of it, but it always has a second-handed kind of a look, and generally smells strong of the chemicals.
Josh Billings
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Love has a most voracious appetite, but a poor digestion, what it feeds on most always distresses it. Prudes, are coquettes, gone to seed. It is our duty to pray for them who revile and persecute us, but I don't know as we are obliged to let them know it.
Josh Billings
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When I come across people who are perfectly crazy for ventilation, I say to myself, "that critter was brought up in a windmill."
Josh Billings
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The man who can wear a paper collar a hole week and keep, it clean, ain't fit for any thing else.
Josh Billings
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There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
Josh Billings
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Too much religion is worse than none at all. You can't show me a country that has existed yet, where the people, all of them, professed one religion and persecuted all other kinds, but what the religion ruined the country.
Josh Billings
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I don't recall now of ever hearing of two dogs fighting unless there was a man or two around.
Josh Billings
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Many people spend their time trying to find the hole where sin got into this world—if two men brake through the ice into a mill pond, they had better hunt for sum good hole to get out, rather than get into a long argument about the hole they come to fall in.
Josh Billings
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The man who pitys everyboddy, wants watching, for the chances are that he iz gitting phatt slily on other peoples misfortunes.
Josh Billings
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Hunters and gamblers are poor economists, they kill time, a species of game that can't be reproduced.
Josh Billings
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As a gineral thing, when a woman wares the britches, she has a good rite tew them.
Josh Billings
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Men of genius are like eagles — they live on what they kill; while men of talent are like crows — they live on what has been killed for them.
Josh Billings
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The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
Josh Billings
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Nature never makes any blunders; when she makes a fool she means it.
Josh Billings
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Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite.
Josh Billings
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I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
Josh Billings
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The hardest thing that any man can do is to fall down on the ice when it is wet, and get up and praise the Lord.
Josh Billings
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A witty writer is like a porcupine; his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe.
Josh Billings
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Wisdom that don't make us happier ain't worth plowing for.
Josh Billings
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I rather admire the insolent civility of a bull-tarrier, who only growls when I pass by him, but I never did like it in a man.
Josh Billings
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The lion and the lamb may, possibly, sometime lay down in this world together for a few minutes, but when the lion comes to get up, the lamb will be missing.
Josh Billings
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I have studied my own character, and my own impulses for 39 years closely, and I can't tell to day (to save a bet) whether I am an honest and true man or not — if there is anybody who knows about this matter I wish they would address me a letter, enclosing a postage blister.
Josh Billings
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To bring up a child in the way he should go—travel that way yourself.
Josh Billings
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Quote of the day
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.
Lady Randolph Churchill
Josh Billings
Creative Commons
Born:
April 21, 1818
Died:
October 14, 1885
(aged 67)
Bio:
Josh Billings was the pen name of 19th-century American humorist Henry Wheeler Shaw. He was a famous humor writer and lecturer in the United States, perhaps second only to Mark Twain, during the latter half of the 19th century.
Known for:
Josh Billings, Hiz Sayings (1865)
Josh Billings on Ice, and Other Things (1868)
Most used words:
man
time
people
find
folks
life
money
poor
hole
tew
truth
day
human
sins
repent
Josh Billings on Wikipedia
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