John Bradshaw (author) Quotes

26 Sourced Quotes

Children are natural Zen masters; their world is brand new in each and every moment.

John Bradshaw
Growing up means leaving home and becoming a self supporting adult. I think this the hardest task any human being hast to face.

John Bradshaw
Children need parents who model self-discipline rather than preach it. They learn from what their parents are actually willing to do; not from what they say they do.

John Bradshaw
Our beliefs create the kind of world we believe in. We project our feelings, thoughts and attitudes onto the world. I can create a different world by changing my belief about the world. Our inner state creates the outer and not vice versa.

John Bradshaw
That's the trouble with the conventional doctors. They always say, 'How does it work?' but often there isn't any neat little answer...Something simply works...We don't really know how it works. We say we do. We know one or two things we can see and measure...

John Bradshaw
Arrogance is a way for a person to cover up shame. After years of arrogance, the arrogant person is so out of touch, she truly doesn't know who she is. This is one of the greatest tragedies of shame cover-ups: not only does the person hide from others, she also hides from herself.

John Bradshaw
The drivenness in any addiction is about the ruptured self, the belief that one is flawed as a person. The content of the addiction, whether it is alcoholism or work, is an attempt at an intimate relationship. The workaholic with her work or the alcoholic with his booze are having a love affair. Each alters mood to avoid the feeling of loneliness and hurt in the underbelly of shame.

John Bradshaw
The spiritual quest is not some added benefit to our life, something you embark on if you have the time and inclination. We are spiritual beings on an earthly journey. Our spirituality makes up our beingness.

John Bradshaw
I believe that this neglected, wounded, inner child of the past is the major source of human misery.

John Bradshaw
Healthy shame is an emotion that teaches us about our limits. Like all emotions, shame moves us to get our basic needs met.

John Bradshaw
The foundation for our self-image is grounded in the first three years of life. It comes from our major caretaker's mirroring.

John Bradshaw
Our sadness is an energy we discharge in order to heal. …Sadness is painful. We try to avoid it. Actually discharging sadness releases the energy involved in our emotional pain. To hold it in is to freeze the pain within us. The therapeutic slogan is that grieving is the 'healing feeling.'

John Bradshaw
Science has so far been unable to tell us how self-aware dogs are, much less whether they have anything like our conscious thoughts. This is not surprising, since neither scientists nor philosophers can agree about what the consciousness of humans consists of, let alone that of animals.

John Bradshaw
We move from the illusion of certainty, to the certainty of illusion

John Bradshaw
All these feelings need to be felt. We need to stomp and storm; to sob and cry; to perspire and tremble.

John Bradshaw
True love heals and affects spiritual growth. If we do not grow because of someone else's love, it's generally because it is a counterfeit form of love.

John Bradshaw
The more we know about how we lost our spontaneous wonder and creativity, the more we can find ways to get them back.

John Bradshaw
The feeling of righteousness is the core mood alteration among religious addicts. Religious addiction is a massive problem in our society. It may be the most pernicious of all addictions because it's so hard for a person to break his delusion and denial. How can anything be wrong with loving God and giving your life for good works and service to mankind?

John Bradshaw
Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can become highly addictive.

John Bradshaw
Guilt says I've done something wrong;... shame says there is something wrong with me. Guilt says I've made a mistake;... shame says I am a mistake. Guilt says what did was not good;... shame says I am no good.

John Bradshaw
To be shame-bound means that whenever you feel any feeling, need or drive, you immediately feel ashamed. The dynamic core of your human life is grounded in your feelings, needs and drives. When these are bound by shame, you are shamed to the core.

John Bradshaw
Since the earliest period of our life was preverbal, everything depended on emotional interaction. Without someone to reflect our emotions, we had no way of knowing who we were.

John Bradshaw
To truly be committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality.

John Bradshaw
Hell, in my opinion, is never finding your true self and never living your own life or knowing who you are.

John Bradshaw
Chronically dysfunctioning families are also delusional. Delusion is sincere denial.

John Bradshaw
The most paradoxical aspect of neurotic shame is that it is the core motivator of the superachieved and the underachieved, the star and the scapegoat, the righteous and the wretched, the powerful and the pathetic.

John Bradshaw