Jeremy Hardy Quotes

15 Sourced Quotes

I don't get this fashion for happy funerals. He said he wanted all his mates to be in a good mood and smile, and this is a very fashionable idea, that when you die, it's supposed to be a celebration and joyous and everyone laughing, but I want people's lives torn apart when I go. I want to be embalmed and brought out when we have guests.

Jeremy Hardy
All socialists have bad backs because we slouch — except when we're watching the news when we sit on the edge of our seats, shout, and wave our arms. Generally we sit hunched, arms crossed in a judgemental way, the whole of our bodies pulled into a frown.

Jeremy Hardy
Have you ever looked at Kylie's teeth? Those teeth are proportional to the teeth of a camel in the mouth of a toddler.

Jeremy Hardy
It seems a shallow observation, but… the Tory Conference are not an attractive lot, are they? I mean, if all those people were born in the same village, you'd blame pollution, wouldn't you?

Jeremy Hardy
My daughter wanted a new pair of trainers. I told her "You're eleven, make your own!"

Jeremy Hardy
Capitalism is a great idea in theory, but in practice it just doesn't work.

Jeremy Hardy
Why don't they just accept that life is sad and cheer up it's not forever.

Jeremy Hardy
The only way you can ever accuse a Conservative of hypocrisy is if they walk past a homeless person without kicking him in the face.

Jeremy Hardy
… really very critical of hereditary peers, but they — I mean — they've got their faults, but some of those faults have been in the family for generations.

Jeremy Hardy
On Vince Cable: But he's charming and northern; he's the man tasked with crushing the poor in their own accent, isn't he really?

Jeremy Hardy
It is a stupid observation, but the Labour Party are not an smart lot, are they? I mean, if all those people were born in the same town, you would blame bad parenting, wouldn't you all?

Jeremy Hardy
The need to compile lists is a personality disorder, as is the need to assert the superiority of some things over other things.

Jeremy Hardy
If you just took everyone in the BNP and everyone who votes for them and shot them in the back of the head, there would be a brighter future for us all.

Jeremy Hardy
The Afghan War has clearly reached a stage similar to that moment at your child's party where you realise you've forgotten to give the other parents a pick up time.

Jeremy Hardy
You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.

Jeremy Hardy