Jeff Foxworthy - Wife Quotes

4 Sourced Quotes

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To his wife:

You do not have testicular cancer. You don't even have "testiculars"!

Jeff Foxworthy

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

Jeff Foxworthy

Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

Jeff Foxworthy

It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's the things my wife dreams I did... My wife punched me in the middle of the night; I woke up, I was like "Oww! What was that for?" She said "I dreamt you were making out with Faith Hill." I said "I wasn't dreaming anything! Send her over to my dream, we'll both be happy."

Jeff Foxworthy