Jeff Foxworthy - Beer Quotes

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[what men are thinking] I'd like a beer and I'd like to see something naked.

Jeff Foxworthy

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard. And if you play with 'em too hard, they'll spew like a can of beer. I like to shake my daughter up, then hand her to people I don't like. "Hold her just a minute, would you?"

Jeff Foxworthy

I think [the designated driver program] is a great idea, because anything is safer than the way we used to do it: "Hey dude, get up! Give us a ride home, man! C'mon, whaddaya say? We'll buy ya a beer!"... The only problem with the designated driver program [is] it's not the world's most desirable job... But if you ever get talked into doing it, have fun with the group. Like at the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong damn house, preferably in their boss's front yard or something.

Jeff Foxworthy