Jay Leno - President Quotes

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Afterwards, President Bush said, "Maliki is the right man for the job." Just to remind you, Bush also said FEMA's Michael Brown was the right man for the job, Donald Rumsfeld was the right man for the job, Tom DeLay was the right man for the job… which would be okay if Bush was the right man for the job.

Jay Leno

Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference.

Jay Leno

A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. […] At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time.

Jay Leno

How many watched the President's speech last night?
[half-hearted audience applause]
How many watched American Idol?
[thundering applause]
Okay, there you go! You get the government you deserve.

Jay Leno

So China's president [Hu Jintao] meets, uh— meets America's president. It's like President "Who?" meeting President "Huh?".

Jay Leno

Folks, tomorrow America will get to hear those four words we've been waiting for: "Former president George Bush".

Jay Leno