He would give up then, and console himself with something she'd said: that you could not love what you fully understood. Love, she maintained, was a process, not a state. Held still, it withered. He wasn't too sure about all that; he seemed to have found a calm clear serenity in himself he hadn't even known was there, thanks to her.
Chapter IX (p. 149). - Culture series - Use of Weapons (1990)