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H. L. Mencken -
A Mencken chrestomathy (1949)
47 Sourced Quotes
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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. Mencken
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Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.
H. L. Mencken
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A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
H. L. Mencken
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Lawyer — One who protects us against robbers by taking away the temptation.
H. L. Mencken
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Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
H. L. Mencken
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We are here and it is now: further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
H. L. Mencken
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
H. L. Mencken
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Immorality is the morality of those who are having a better time. You will never convince the average farmer's mare that the late Maud S. was not dreadfully immoral.
H. L. Mencken
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In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnaught, and man from an open raft.
H. L. Mencken
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Theology — An effort to explain the unknowable by putting it into terms of the not worth knowing.
H. L. Mencken
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If x is the population of the United States and y is the degree of imbecility of the average American, then democracy is the theory that x × y is less than y.
H. L. Mencken
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Self-repect – The secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
H. L. Mencken
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A man who has throttled a bad impulse has at least some consolation in his agonies, but a man who has throttled a good one is in a bad way indeed.
H. L. Mencken
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Christian — One who is willing to serve three Gods, but draws the line at one wife.
H. L. Mencken
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The New Deal began, like the Salvation Army, by promising to save humanity. It ended, again like the Salvation Army, by running flop-houses and disturbing the peace.
H. L. Mencken
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Jury — A group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him.
H. L. Mencken
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for. As for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
H. L. Mencken
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A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
H. L. Mencken
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Archbishop – A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
H. L. Mencken
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Osteopath — One who argues that all human ills are caused by the pressure of hard bone on soft tissue. The proof of his theory is to be found in the heads of those who believe it.
H. L. Mencken
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When women kiss, it always reminds one of prize-fighters shaking hands.
H. L. Mencken
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A man may be a fool and not know it — but not if he is married.
H. L. Mencken
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Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
H. L. Mencken
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Pathology would remain a lovely science, even if there were no therapeutics, just as seismology is a lovely science, though no one knows how to stop earthquakes.
H. L. Mencken
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Remorse — Regret that one waited so long to do it.
H. L. Mencken
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Quote of the day
No country has suffered so much from the ruins of war while being at peace as the American.
Edward Dahlberg
H. L. Mencken
Born:
September 12, 1880
Died:
January 29, 1956
(aged 75)
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