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They say a man is as old as the woman he feels. In that case I'm eighty-five … I want it known here and now that this is what I want on my tombstone: Here lies Groucho Marx, and Lies and Lies and Lies. P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.

Groucho Marx
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Man: 'Can I have a table near the floor?'
Groucho: 'Certainly, I'll have the waiter saw the legs off.'


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Having watched a county cricket match for several hours:
Michael Davie: Are you enjoying it?
Groucho Marx: It's great. When does it start?


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To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.

Groucho Marx

Quote of the day

The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.
Cecil B. De Mille

Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx
Creative Commons

Born: October 2, 1890
Died: August 19, 1977 (aged 86)
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