Gracie Allen Quotes

34 Sourced Quotes

My mind works so fast. When I think of something I say it. Lots of times I say it even before I think of it.

Gracie Allen
Who am I to talk? That's a fair question, and one which deserves a better answer than I can give you. … Come to think of it, who are you? Whoever you are, I sympathize with you. I sympathize with everybody; that's what I get for being a candidate myself. Let them call us nonentities. Who cares? A nonenitiy can be just as famous as anybody else if enough people know about him.
But let's leave personalities out of this and just talk about me.

Gracie Allen
George: Gracie, those are beautiful flowers. Where did they come from?
Gracie: Don't you remember, George? You said that if I went to visit Clara Bagley in the hospital I should be sure to take her flowers. So, when she wasn't looking, I did.

Gracie Allen
My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.
On her husband, George Burns

Gracie Allen
As we walk hand in hand through the pathways of knowledge, remember that I am giving you freely and without stint the full accumulation of my two months' experience as a candidate. I have on file a complete record of everything I've said and done. Ever since I threw my hat in the ring I have had myself shadowed, and the results were very entertaining. The things that go on in those back rooms, you wouldn't believe.
So now we begin our journey together. If you follow these instructions carefully, you will find that every step of your progress, like the path that climbs up and up from the sheltered valley, offers you an ever-wider and more facinating vista, until at last you come out upon the summit of the wrong hill.

Gracie Allen
As a well-known great man would have said if he had thought of it, Don't go around offending people just because it can be done sitting down.

Gracie Allen
Every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.

Gracie Allen
Presidents are made, not born. That's a good thing to remember. It's silly to think that Presidents are born, because very few people are 35 years old at birth, and those who are won't admit it. So if you're only 16 don't be discouraged, because it's only a phase and there's nothing wrong with you that you won't outgrow.

Gracie Allen
All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for this country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.

Gracie Allen