Franklin P. Jones Quotes

63 Sourced Quotes

An umbrella is a device for keeping two people half dry.

Franklin P. Jones
Well-adjusted people these days are those who are somewhat less neurotic than the majority.

Franklin P. Jones
If crime doesn't pay, there must be something quite similar to it that does.

Franklin P. Jones
What this country needs now is a compact pedestrian.

Franklin P. Jones
Your footsteps that your children follow are apt to be those you took on tiptoe.

Franklin P. Jones
You don't have to be a self-made man to be a bore. You can be a self-made woman.

Franklin P. Jones
You can always identify a prize cow. It's one that's been hit by an automobile.

Franklin P. Jones
Our political history shows that the only way we get rid of a temporary tax is by making it permanent.

Franklin P. Jones
Watching teenagers dance these days makes you wonder what they do for fun.

Franklin P. Jones
A problem child is one who makes his father suspect there's a lot he doesn't know about his wife's kinsfolk.

Franklin P. Jones
A secretary who has no trouble with her spelling probably has a boss who does.

Franklin P. Jones
While equality of the sexes is a splendid ideal, few people believe women will ever allow it.

Franklin P. Jones
Anybody who doesn't feel insecure these days is probably irresponsible.

Franklin P. Jones
There are two kinds of teachers in this country: Those who control their class and the unarmed.

Franklin P. Jones
The husband who never takes a vacation probably thinks he has worries enough.

Franklin P. Jones
Many businessmen can never find the time to take a vacation with their family, but some are not that cowardly.

Franklin P. Jones
Some men can read their wives like a book — an instruction manual.

Franklin P. Jones
Nobody who can read is ever successful at cleaning out the attic.

Franklin P. Jones
Anybody who thinks the automobile has made people lazy never had to pay for one.

Franklin P. Jones
Money's not everything. Often, it isn't even enough.

Franklin P. Jones
A luxury these days is a necessity plus the tax.

Franklin P. Jones
An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

Franklin P. Jones
You've reached middle age when your weight-lifting consists of standing up.

Franklin P. Jones
Nothing encourages repentance quite so much as being caught.

Franklin P. Jones
The modern girl is apt to use television to keep her young.

Franklin P. Jones
You've reached middle age when your wife tells you to pull in your stomach-and you already have.

Franklin P. Jones
When a woman dresses to kill, the victim's apt to be time.

Franklin P. Jones
Anybody who doubts that clothes make the man doesn't go to the beach.

Franklin P. Jones
When two can live as cheaply as one, he's apt to have been a spendthrift.

Franklin P. Jones
A traffic light is a device for luring pedestrians out where cars can get at them.

Franklin P. Jones