Fran Lebowitz - Metropolitan Life (1978)

53 Sourced Quotes

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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.

Fran Lebowitz
That I am totally devoid of sympathy for, or interest in, the world of groups is directly attributable to the fact that my two greatest needs and desires — smoking cigarettes and plotting revenge — are basically solitary pursuits.

Fran Lebowitz
Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.

Fran Lebowitz
Women who insist on having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type.

Fran Lebowitz
The [hypochondriacs'] program's motto, 'There is no such thing as just a mole.'

Fran Lebowitz
Perhaps one of the more noteworthy trends of our time is the occupation of buildings accompanied by the taking of hostages. The perpetrators of these deeds are generally motivated by political grievance, social injustice, and the deeply felt desire to see how they look on TV.

Fran Lebowitz
Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?"

Fran Lebowitz
Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers.

Fran Lebowitz
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.

Fran Lebowitz
Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.

Fran Lebowitz
Children make the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

Fran Lebowitz
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Fran Lebowitz
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

Fran Lebowitz
If, while watching the sun set on a used-car lot in Los Angeles, you are struck by the parallels between this image and the inevitable fate of humanity, do not, under any circumstances, write it down.

Fran Lebowitz
I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.

Fran Lebowitz
There are two kinds of music — good music and bad music. Good music is music that I want to hear. Bad music is music that I don't want to hear.

Fran Lebowitz
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

Fran Lebowitz
Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soy beans.

Fran Lebowitz
Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit.

Fran Lebowitz
In New York it's not whether you win or lose — it's how you lay the blame.

Fran Lebowitz
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publication.

Fran Lebowitz
White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing.

Fran Lebowitz
In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well — Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.

Fran Lebowitz