Erma Bombeck - Children Quotes

12 Sourced Quotes

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I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going to... go out of my way to show them I am interested in them and what they do. I am going to understand my children.' These women end up making rag rugs, using blunt scissors.

Erma Bombeck
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. When we began to 'rap,' 'feed into one another,' 'let things hang out' that mother didn't know about and would rather not.

Erma Bombeck
In general they [my children] refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV.

Erma Bombeck
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

Erma Bombeck
The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.

Erma Bombeck
When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.

Erma Bombeck
If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.

Erma Bombeck
There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.

Erma Bombeck
I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash... you add a longer tail... you patch and comfort, adjust and teach. You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they'll fly.

Erma Bombeck
I think it's time we women stopped carrying supplies for the entire family. If children don't have room to carry their own toys, if men don't have pockets in their pants, tougho.

Erma Bombeck
When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.

Erma Bombeck
Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know. Sometimes when adults say this to children I look into their faces. They look like someone on the top seat of the Ferris wheel who has had too much cotton candy and barbecue. They'd like to get off and be sick but everyone keeps telling them what a good time they're having.

Erma Bombeck