Douglas Adams - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (1980)

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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

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How do you know you're having fun if there's no one watching you have it?

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One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of accidentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broadminded and well-adjusted family can't cope with.

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You can't dodge your responsibilities by saying they don't exist!

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My universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay.

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Listen, three eyes," he said, "don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.

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I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

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The Universe, as has been observed before, is an unsettlingly big place, a fact which for the sake of a quiet life most people tend to ignore.

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It is folly to say you know what is happening to other people. Only they know, if they exist. They have their own Universes of their own eyes and ears.

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If life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.

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Zaphod felt he was teetering on the edge of madness and wondered if he shouldn't just jump over and have done with it.

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But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment." I've seen it. It's rubbish," said Zaphod,"nothing but a gnab gib." A what?" Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy.

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The only thing nicer than a phone that didn't ring all the time (or indeed at all) was six phones that didn't ring all the time (or indeed at all).

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After a while he played with the pencil and the paper again and was delighted when he discovered how to make a mark with the one on the other. Various noises continued outside, but he didn't know whether they were real or not. He then talked to his table for a week to see how it would react.

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Much to his annoyance, a thought popped into his mind. It was very clear and very distinct, and he had now come to recognize these thoughts for what they were. His instinct was to resist them.

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If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a corner..." "Yeah?" "Please don't hesitate to get lost.

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In the stillness, a fly would not have dared clear it's throat.

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'Totally mad,' he said, 'utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.'

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To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

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The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the Q letter into a privet bush, but unfortunately there are times when it is unavoidable.

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The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.

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The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said Ford. 'Huh?' said Arthur. 'Huh?' said Trillian. 'That's cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat.

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