Donald Barthelme - Baby Quotes

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My wife wants a dog. She already has a baby. The baby's almost two. My wife says that the baby wants the dog.
My wife has been wanting a dog for a long time. I have had to be the one to tell her that she couldn't have one. But now the baby wants a dog, my wife says. This may be true. The baby is very close to my wife. They go around together all the time, clutching each other tightly. I ask the baby, who is a girl, Whose girl are you? Are you Daddy's girl? The baby says, Momma, and she doesn't just say it once, she says it repeatedly, Momma momma momma. I don't see why I should buy a hundred-dollar dog for that damn baby.

Donald Barthelme