They ate a pig's anus? Oh, come on. I have to tell you there is nothing there to eat. Is it fair? I think the pig is past caring whether it is fair or not. Look, my view is that any bloody fool can be uncomfortable. I don't go into harrowing circumstances for fun or entertainment. I mean, I am not a hair-shirt guy.
Does anyone really imagine for a moment that my wife gives two stuffs about global warming? She certainly did not appear to be all that bothered on Thursday evening when, during the great carbon-saving switch-off, I ran round the house furiously turning on every light, hair dryer, dishwasher and toaster.
Such close observations of apes and birds and dolphins remind us that humanity is part of a great animal kingdom. All species within this kingdom differ from one another in significant ways, to be sure, but the kingdom does not seem to be organized on the superior/inferior hierarchy. Species are merely different from one another; they are not better than, nor more or less advanced than, each other. The core experience of all animal life is strikingly similar.
It is the relentless onward march of the texters, the SMS (Short Message Service) vandals who are doing to our language what Genghis Khan did to his neighbours 800 years ago. They are destroying it: pillaging our punctuation; savaging our sentences; raping our vocabulary. And they must be stopped.
I don't know very many people who were able to say at a young age, "I'm going to do this" and do it, and it just kind of all went that way. It's pretty much unpredictable and a random path. You can't really control the circumstances of your life, you can only control what you do with it, how you react, how you respond, how you hold it. … What I do control is what I do with what happens, and I try to keep a positive attitude, not always easy, and I try to focus on what my mission, core mission is. And that helps you more than anything else if you know what your mission is.