Billy Connolly Quotes

13 Sourced Quotes

Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Billy Connolly
Still you can't worry too much about the future. Life is not a rehearsal.

Billy Connolly
Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on.

Billy Connolly
I love fishing. It's like transcendental meditation with a punch-line.

Billy Connolly
If you want to lose a bit of weight, don't eat anything out of a bucket.

Billy Connolly
All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.

Billy Connolly
When I read 'Be real, don't get caught acting,' I thought, 'How the hell do you do that?'

Billy Connolly
After receiving an honorary degree from the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama:
This is my second doctorate. I read that David Attenborough has 29, but I think two will do me.

Billy Connolly
Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

Billy Connolly
I've absolutely no idea if God exists. It seems unlikely to me, but then—does a trout know that I exist?

Billy Connolly
I think of my life as a series of moments and I've found that the great moments often don't have too much to them. They're not huge, complicated events; they're just magical wee moments when somebody says 'I love you' or 'You're a really good at what you do' or simply 'You're a good person'.

Billy Connolly
I would hate to have been born, lived and died and nobody noticed. It's proof you exist, that all the practising with your banjo in your bedroom paid off.

Billy Connolly
Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.

Billy Connolly