Bill Bailey Quotes

11 Sourced Quotes

You're absolutely right, Hitler was a vegetarian. It's very unseemly to think so, but there he was. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

Bill Bailey
I was digging with a fork out of the kitchen drawer, sewing tic-tacs, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. After a bit I got bored and just started burying cheap spoons to baffle the archaeologists of the future.
On gardening

Bill Bailey
My first job was selling doors, door to door. That's a tough job isn't it? Bing Bong; Hello, can I interest you in a- oh shit you've got one already haven't you? Well never mind...

Bill Bailey
I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine

Bill Bailey
It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life...

Bill Bailey
Creationists mainly are Americans who think the world was created in 1982 to coincide with the rise of Supertramp, but you can very easily dispute this by playing some of Supertramp's earlier albums.

Bill Bailey
Where did we all go wrong?
The insects used to be our brothers.
Along came pesticide
And on that day our friendship died
And pouring boiling water down ants nests couldn't have helped.

Bill Bailey
I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'

Bill Bailey
Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

Bill Bailey
Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries for quality of life, because of things like the weather, obviously, late retirement, poor holiday, poor public services, poor health service; it's basically just a kind of grey, godless wilderness, full of cold pies and broken dreams.

Bill Bailey
I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say "work", you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all...

Bill Bailey