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In my twenties I tried cocaine, which I instantly loved but eventually hated. Cocaine is terrific if you want to hang out with people you don't know very well and play Ping-Pong all night. It's bad for almost everything else.
Amy Poehler
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Believe me, blond hair can take you really far, especially with the older men. It can really distract from the face. I am convinced I could have had sex with both Tony Bennett and John McCain if we weren't each happily married at the time we all met.
Amy Poehler
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My phone is trying to kill me. It is a battery-charged rectangle of disappointment and possibility. It is a technological pacifier.
Amy Poehler
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Ignore what other people think. Most people aren't even paying attention to you.
Amy Poehler
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Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier.
Amy Poehler
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It likes it when you don't depend on it. It will reward you every time you don't act needy. It will chase you if you act like other things (passion, friendship, family, longevity) are more important to you. If your career is a bad boyfriend, it is healthy to remember you can always leave and go sleep with somebody else.
Amy Poehler
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A person's tragedy does not make up their entire life. A story carves deep grooves into our brains each time we tell it. But we aren't one story. We can change our stories. We can write our own.
Amy Poehler
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I like hard work and I don't like pretending things are perfect.
Amy Poehler
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Well, the first thing we do is take our brain out and put it in a drawer. Stick it somewhere and let it tantrum until it wears itself out. You may still hear the brain and all the shitty things it is saying to you, but it will be muffled, and just the fact that it is not in your head anymore will make things seem clearer. And then you just do it.
Amy Poehler
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This week, Donald Trump introduced a new twelve-inch doll of himself that speaks seventeen different phrases, which is amazing, as that's five more than the real Donald Trump.
Amy Poehler
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I am interested in people who swim in the deep end. I want to have conversations about real things with people who have experienced real things. I'm tired of talking about movies and gossiping about friends. Life is crunchy and complicated and all the more delicious.
Amy Poehler
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On the 2006 US Midterm Elections:
This week, in an ironic turn of events, Iraq brought regime change to the United States.
Amy Poehler
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According to a new survey, 67 percent of teenagers are content or extremely happy most of the time. They're called stoners!
Amy Poehler
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A chimpanzee in China has quit smoking after 16 years, with the help of her keepers. The chimp was able to quit when the keepers STOPPED BUYING HER CIGARETTES!
Amy Poehler
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A woman's nether regions should always be shrouded in mystery.
Amy Poehler
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I believe great people do things before they are ready.
Amy Poehler
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An orca trainer almost drowned after its orca dragged him down in the tank. He did reveal the locations of three Al-Qaeda hideouts.
Amy Poehler
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If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier.
Amy Poehler
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I surfed in a very cool and confident zone and my ego was snuggly and warm in a sleeping bag of safe choices.
Amy Poehler
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I have realized that mystery is what keeps people away, and I've grown tired of smoke and mirrors. I yearn for the clean, well-lighted place. So let's peek behind the curtain and hail the others like us. The open-faced sandwiches who take risks and live big and smile with all of their teeth. These are the people I want to be around. This is the honest way I want to live and love and write.
Amy Poehler
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Surprising news from New York, the whistle-blower had his whistle blown!
Amy Poehler
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Christian conservatives are claiming that the hit documentary March of the Penguins supports the theory of intelligent design. Meanwhile, backers of evolution claim that intelligent design is refuted in the documentary March of the Bonaduces.
Amy Poehler
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Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs. It's expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end.
Amy Poehler
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A 14-year-old Indiana girl was arrested after she came to a middle school with a handgun, ammunition, and six small bags of marijuana. Man, Dakota Fanning's growing up so fast!
Amy Poehler
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Donald Trump and producer Mark Burnett are reportedly considering creating a Broadway musical based on The Apprentice. The pair came up with the idea when neither one of them could find a match to set fire to a pile of money.
Amy Poehler
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Quote of the day
No longer shall I paint interiors with men reading and women knitting. I will paint living people who breathe and feel and suffer and love.
Edvard Munch
Amy Poehler
Creative Commons
Born:
September 16, 1971
(age 52)
Bio:
Amy Meredith Poehler is an American actress, comedian, voice artist, director, producer, and writer.
Known for:
Parks and Recreation (2009 – 2015)
Saturday Night Live (Since 1975)
Sisters (2015)
Mean Girls (2004)
Inside Out (2015)
Most used words:
people
life
trump
iraq
donald
real
Amy Poehler on Wikipedia
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