Amy Poehler Quotes

67 Sourced Quotes

It likes it when you don't depend on it. It will reward you every time you don't act needy. It will chase you if you act like other things (passion, friendship, family, longevity) are more important to you. If your career is a bad boyfriend, it is healthy to remember you can always leave and go sleep with somebody else.

Amy Poehler
A person's tragedy does not make up their entire life. A story carves deep grooves into our brains each time we tell it. But we aren't one story. We can change our stories. We can write our own.

Amy Poehler
I like hard work and I don't like pretending things are perfect.

Amy Poehler
Well, the first thing we do is take our brain out and put it in a drawer. Stick it somewhere and let it tantrum until it wears itself out. You may still hear the brain and all the shitty things it is saying to you, but it will be muffled, and just the fact that it is not in your head anymore will make things seem clearer. And then you just do it.

Amy Poehler
This week, Donald Trump introduced a new twelve-inch doll of himself that speaks seventeen different phrases, which is amazing, as that's five more than the real Donald Trump.

Amy Poehler
I am interested in people who swim in the deep end. I want to have conversations about real things with people who have experienced real things. I'm tired of talking about movies and gossiping about friends. Life is crunchy and complicated and all the more delicious.

Amy Poehler
On the 2006 US Midterm Elections:
This week, in an ironic turn of events, Iraq brought regime change to the United States.

Amy Poehler
According to a new survey, 67 percent of teenagers are content or extremely happy most of the time. They're called stoners!

Amy Poehler
A chimpanzee in China has quit smoking after 16 years, with the help of her keepers. The chimp was able to quit when the keepers STOPPED BUYING HER CIGARETTES!

Amy Poehler
A woman's nether regions should always be shrouded in mystery.

Amy Poehler
I believe great people do things before they are ready.

Amy Poehler
An orca trainer almost drowned after its orca dragged him down in the tank. He did reveal the locations of three Al-Qaeda hideouts.

Amy Poehler
If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier.

Amy Poehler
I surfed in a very cool and confident zone and my ego was snuggly and warm in a sleeping bag of safe choices.

Amy Poehler
I have realized that mystery is what keeps people away, and I've grown tired of smoke and mirrors. I yearn for the clean, well-lighted place. So let's peek behind the curtain and hail the others like us. The open-faced sandwiches who take risks and live big and smile with all of their teeth. These are the people I want to be around. This is the honest way I want to live and love and write.

Amy Poehler
Surprising news from New York, the whistle-blower had his whistle blown!

Amy Poehler
Christian conservatives are claiming that the hit documentary March of the Penguins supports the theory of intelligent design. Meanwhile, backers of evolution claim that intelligent design is refuted in the documentary March of the Bonaduces.

Amy Poehler
Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs. It's expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end.

Amy Poehler
A 14-year-old Indiana girl was arrested after she came to a middle school with a handgun, ammunition, and six small bags of marijuana. Man, Dakota Fanning's growing up so fast!

Amy Poehler
Donald Trump and producer Mark Burnett are reportedly considering creating a Broadway musical based on The Apprentice. The pair came up with the idea when neither one of them could find a match to set fire to a pile of money.

Amy Poehler
Britney Spears is recording a rap song about the recent controversies in her life. "I can't wait to hear that!", said no one.

Amy Poehler
In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that... oh, who cares?

Amy Poehler
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice made a surprise trip to Iraq Sunday. Also surprised to be in Iraq on Sunday: thousands of U.S. troops who were supposed to be home by Christmas.

Amy Poehler
I find that, in general, the amount of sharing men do with each other in one year is about the same as what I share with my female friends while we wait for our cars at the valet.

Amy Poehler
I love bossy women. Some people hate the word, and I understand how "bossy" can seem like a shitty way to describe a woman with a determined point of view, but for me, a bossy woman is someone to search out and celebrate. A bossy woman is someone who cares and commits and is a natural leader.

Amy Poehler
Watching great people do what you love is a good way to start learning how to do it yourself.

Amy Poehler
I asked people who have already finished books for advice, which is akin to asking a mother with a four-year-old what childbirth is like.

Amy Poehler
That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. 'Good for her! Not for me.'

Amy Poehler
Career is the stringing together of opportunities and jobs. Mix in public opinion and past regrets. Add a dash of future panic and a whole lot of financial uncertainty. Career is something that fools you into thinking you are in control and then takes pleasure in reminding you that you aren't. Career is the thing that will not fill you up and will never make you truly whole.

Amy Poehler
Symmetry is pleasing but not as sexy. Einstein is cool but Picasso knows what I'm talking about.

Amy Poehler