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In brief, when women batter, men's first priority is to support the women and help them change; when men batter, women's first priority is to escape the men and put them in prison.
Warren Farrell
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When men in relationships have more money, we say they have the power. When women in relationships have more money, we say they are being used.
Warren Farrell
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It is important for a father who feels pushed away to say, in effect, "When you do that, I feel unwanted as a father," or "I feel my rough-housing is not bad parenting; it's my contribution to helping our child take risks." Women cannot hear what men do not say. – page 105.
Warren Farrell
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Women attempt suicide more often because they want to become the priority of those they love rather than always prioritizing them.
Warren Farrell
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Women are socialized to take advantage of four informal options for emotional support: husbands; womenfriends; children; and parents. Men are socialized to take advantage of only one of these informal options: their wife or womanfriend.
Warren Farrell
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There are 25 differences in the way women and men behave in the workplace. These 25 differences lead to men receiving higher pay and women having better lives—or at least more balanced lives.
Warren Farrell
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The more chauvinist the country, the more it protects women. And therefore the more it limits women. Like the United States, [Italy, Spain, and Denmark] give women options without obligations. These countries are, therefore, still male chauvinist… The degree to which a country is emancipated is the degree to which it frees men from the obligation to protect women and socializes women to equally protect men.
Warren Farrell
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It is ironic that a movement that made its reputation championing the irrelevance of biological differences when those differences were to most women's disadvantage immediately returned to biological determinism when those differences were to the most women's advantage.
Warren Farrell
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Throughout history, men learned that survival, respect and women's love were all achieved by making a killing –whether killing animals, killing enemies, or making a killing on Wall Street. Women received the money that men produced by loving. Men came to feel themselves as unlovable without the money, property or the heroism it took to make them equal to a woman's love. Women came to associate men spending money on them as a statement of how much they were valued—even loved— by the man. Her ability to love became her source of security: a diamond is a girl's best friend. Essentially this dynamic is true in almost all societies and all classes throughout history.
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The empowerment of women lies not in the protection of females from date rape, but in resocializing both sexes to share date initiative taking and date paying so that both date rape and date fraud are minimized. We cannot end date rape by calling men wimps when they don't initiate quickly enough, rapists when they do it too quickly, and jerks when they do it badly. If we increase the performance pressure only for men, we will reinforce men's need to objectify women – which will lead to more rape. Men will be our rapists as long as men are our initiators.… Laws on date rape create a climate of date hate.
Warren Farrell
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Look under the Love and Friendship section and see dozens of cards designed for women to send to women, most bashing men, and virtually none saying anything loving about men.
Warren Farrell
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By the mid-'90s, the anger at men had become so palpable that even sedate publications like The Economist were characterizing women's vs. men's workload as A woman's work is never done; a man is drunk from sun to sun.
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Programs like TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families, formerly known as AFDC) and WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) subsidize the exclusion of dads. In effect, they create, as we have seen, future welfare recipients. Or tax spenders.
Warren Farrell
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No movement calls [migrant workers] oppressed for providing money for women from whom they are receiving neither cooking nor cleaning; for providing their wives with homes while they sleep on the ground.
Warren Farrell
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Women's scars and rituals involved beauty (piercing ears and noses, binding feet, and wearing corsets); men's involved protecting women. In cultures in which physical strength is still the best way to protect women, as among the Dodos in Uganda, each time a man kills a man, he is awarded a ritual scar; the more scars, the more he is considered eligible.
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In brief, when a man fails as a wallet, we put him in prison; when a woman fails as a mother, we offer her social services. We're taking a criminal approach to men, a social services approach to women.
Warren Farrell
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Men's life expectancy was one year less than women's in 1920; today, it is seven years less, yet the federal government has only an Office of Research on Women's Health.
Warren Farrell
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It is often said that women are a civilizing balance to the innately warlike male. By taking care of the killing for women it could be said that men civilized women. When survival was the issue, men killing to protect what women bore was the male form of nurturance.
Warren Farrell
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The more a man is trained to be a man, the more he is trained to protect women and children, not hurt women and children. He is trained to volunteer to die before even a stranger is hurt – especially a woman or child.
Warren Farrell
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Four men describe how their wives hit them in the lower back with a pole, cracked them over the head or in the neck with a frying pan... the audience renews its laughter after each story. The men are part of a PMS Men's Support Group. Imagine an audience of men laughing as battered women describe how their husbands threatened them with brain or spinal cord injuries by battering them over their heads or in their necks with a frying pan.
Warren Farrell
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While the label date rape has helped women articulate the most dramatic aspect of dating from women's perspective, men have no labels to help them articulate the most traumatic aspects of dating from their perspective. Now, of course, the most traumatic aspect is the possibility of being accused of date rape by a woman to whom he thought he was making love. If men did label the worst aspects of the traditional male role, though, they might label them date robbery, date rejection, date responsibility, date fraud, and date lying.
Warren Farrell
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Sexual harassment legislation in its present form makes all men unequal to all women.
Warren Farrell
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During the years I was on the board of directors of the National Organization for Women [chapter] in New York City, the most resistant audiences I ever faced in the process of doing corporate workshops on equality in the workplace were not male executives—they were the wives of male executives. As long as her income came from her husband, she was not feeling generous when affirmative action let another woman have a head start vying for her husband's (her) income.
Warren Farrell
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Somehow, women's romance novels are not titled He Stopped When I Said No. They are, though, titled Sweet Savage Love, in which the woman rejects the hand of her gentler lover who saves her from the rapist and marries the man who repeatedly and savagely rapes her. It is this marry the rapist theme that not only turned Sweet Savage Love into a best-seller but also into one of women's most enduring romance novels.
Warren Farrell
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Since 1954, then, approximately 70,000 women have murdered; their victims include about 60,000 men, but, as we saw in the second Item of this chapter, not one woman has been executed after killing only a man. For nearly four decades now, we have become increasingly protective of women and decreasingly protective of men—even if that boy is a legal minor, as was Heath Wilkins.
Warren Farrell
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Quote of the day
Autumn burned brightly, a running flame through the mountains, a torch flung to the trees.
Faith Baldwin
Warren Farrell
Creative Commons
Born:
June 26, 1943
(age 80)
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