W. S. Gilbert Quotes

142 Sourced Quotes

He combines the manners of a Marquis with the morals of a Methodist.

W. S. Gilbert
Some word that teems with hidden meaning—like Basingstoke.

W. S. Gilbert
When the footpads quail at the night-bird's wail, and black dogs bay at the moon, Then is the specters' holiday—then is the ghosts' high noon!

W. S. Gilbert
Question: Mr. Sullivan's music…reminds me so much of dear Baytch [Bach]. Do tell me: what is Baytch doing just now? Is he still composing?
Answer: Just now, as a matter of fact, dear Baytch is by way of decomposing.

W. S. Gilbert
It is, it is a glorious thing To be a Pirate King.

W. S. Gilbert
For he might have been a Roosian,
A French or Turk or Proosian,
Or perhaps Italian.
But in spite of all temptations To belong to other nations,
He remains an Englishman.

W. S. Gilbert
The House of Peers, throughout the war,
Did nothing in particular,
And did it very well.

W. S. Gilbert
So I fell in love with a rich attorney's
Elderly ugly daughter.

W. S. Gilbert
Yes, I am the Apostle of Simplicity. I am called Archibald the All-Right, for I am infallible.

W. S. Gilbert
When everyone is somebodee,
Then no one's anybody!

W. S. Gilbert
When constabulary duty's to be done,
The policeman's lot is not a happy one.

W. S. Gilbert
I often think it's comical
How Nature always does contrive
That every boy and every gal,
That's born into the world alive,
Is either a little Liberal,
Or else a little Conservative!

W. S. Gilbert
No Englishman unmoved that statement hears,
Because, with all our faults, we love our House of Peers.

W. S. Gilbert
When they're offered to the world in merry guise,
Unpleasant truths are swallowed with a will—
For he who'd make his fellow-creatures wise
Should always gild the philosophic pill!

W. S. Gilbert
Hearts just as pure and fair
May beat in Belgrave Square
As in the lowly air
Of Seven Dials.

W. S. Gilbert
Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your languid spleen,
An attachment à la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not-too-French French bean!
Though the Philistines may jostle, you will rank as an apostle in the high aesthetic band,
If you walk down Piccadilly with a poppy or a lily in your medieval hand.

W. S. Gilbert
If you're anxious for to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare.

W. S. Gilbert
You can't get high aesthetic tastes,
Like trousers, ready-made.

W. S. Gilbert
When I went to the Bar as a very young man (Said I to myself, said I).

W. S. Gilbert
I have a left shoulder-blade that is a miracle of loveliness. People come miles to see it. My right elbow has a fascination that few can resist.

W. S. Gilbert
I seized him by his little pig-tail,
And on his knees fell he,
As he squirmed and struggled,
And gurgled and guggled,
I drew my snickersnee!

W. S. Gilbert
The Law is the true embodiment
Of everything that's excellent.
It has no kind of fault or flaw,
And I, my Lords, embody the Law.

W. S. Gilbert
The flowers that bloom in the spring,
Tra la,
Have nothing to do with the case.

W. S. Gilbert
Bow, bow, ye lower middle classes!
Bow, bow, ye tradesmen, bow, ye masses.

W. S. Gilbert
Ah, take one consideration with another
A policeman's lot is not a happy one!

W. S. Gilbert
He uses language that would make your hair curl.

W. S. Gilbert
Of that there is no manner of doubt—
No probable, possible shadow of doubt—
No possible doubt whatever.

W. S. Gilbert
A popular speaker, however unpopular and insignificant, has only to wind up his speech with half-a-dozen lines of Shakespeare (and to make it clearly understood that they are Shakespeare's) and he will sit down amid thunders of applause.

W. S. Gilbert
When the foeman bares his steel,
Tarantara, tarantara!
We uncomfortable feel,
Tarantara.

W. S. Gilbert
Come, friends, who plow the sea,
Truce to navigation,
Take another station;
Let's vary piracee
With a little burglaree.

W. S. Gilbert