W. C. Fields - Never Give a Sucker an Even Break (1941)

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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

W. C. Fields

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm so indebted to her for.

W. C. Fields