W. C. Fields - My Little Chickadee (1940)

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Gambler: Say, is this a game of chance?
Cuthbert J. Twillie: Not the way I play it.

W. C. Fields

Whilst traveling through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Had to live on food and water for several days.

W. C. Fields

If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.

W. C. Fields