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Tabitha Suzuma -
Forbidden (2010)
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Lochie. The boy I once loved. The boy I still love. The boy I will continue to love, even when my part in this world is over too.
Tabitha Suzuma
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I feel like I'm going crazy: seeing you every day but never being able to - to hold you, to touch you when anyone else is around. i just want to take your hand, kiss you, hug you, without having to hide all the time. All those things every other couple takes for granted!
Tabitha Suzuma
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Being together, we harm nobody; being apart, we extinguish ourselves.
Tabitha Suzuma
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He will think Lochan wasn't loved, but he was, more deeply than most people are in a lifetime.
Tabitha Suzuma
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He is my soul mate, my fresh air, the reason I look forward to getting up every morning.
Tabitha Suzuma
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Nothing can relieve the pain. Not crying, laughing, screaming, begging. Nothing can change the past.
Tabitha Suzuma
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If I keep breathing, then I have to keep living, and if I keep living, then I have to keep hurting, and I can't - not like this.
Tabitha Suzuma
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At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window–do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physicaly capable of no more, or does it eventualy learn after one crash too many that there is no way out? At what point do you decide that enough is enough?
Tabitha Suzuma
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I love you in–in every kind of way.' 'I feel like that too...' His voice is shocked and raw. 'It's – it's a feeling so big I sometimes think it's going to swalow me. It's so strong I feel it could kil me. It keeps growing and I can't – I don't know what to do to stop it. But – but we're not supposed to do this – to love each other like this!
Tabitha Suzuma
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And my loneliness, always my loneliness - that airless bubble of despair that is slowing stifling me.
Tabitha Suzuma
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Only a matter of time before it broke through our fragile web of denial, forcing us to confront the truth and acknowledge who we are: two people in love – a love that nobody else could possibly understand.
Tabitha Suzuma
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As the light begins to intensify, so does my misery, and I wonder how it is possible to hurt so much when nothing is wrong.
Tabitha Suzuma
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But I don't want to be fine, not if it means she's going to let go of my hand; not if it means we're going to go back to being polite strangers.
Tabitha Suzuma
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And this is something I must accept - even if, like acid on metal, it is slowly corroding me inside.
Tabitha Suzuma
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She can't just be a face, a body; there has to be more than that, some kind of connection. And I can't connect, don't want to connect, with anyone.
Tabitha Suzuma
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I mean, at the end of the day, what the hell does it matter who I end up with if it can't be you?
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I might appear confident and chatty, but I spend most of my time laughing at jokes I don't find funny, saying things I don't really mean - because at the end of the day that's what we're all trying to do: fit in, one way or another, desperately trying to pretend we're all the same.
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I am overcome by a feeling of complete detachment. I am a mere object to these people. I am barely human any more.
Tabitha Suzuma
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You've always been my best friend, my soul mate, and now I've fallen in love with you too. Why is that such a crime?
Tabitha Suzuma
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At the age of five she has already come to terms with one of the life's harshest lessons: that the world isn't fair.
Tabitha Suzuma
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The words fire from my mouth like bullets, ricocheting off the walls before I can even register what I'm saying.
Tabitha Suzuma
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Out of the millions and millions of people that inhabit this planet, he is one of the tiny few I can never have.
Tabitha Suzuma
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Time has stopped; time is racing. Lochie's lips are rough yet smooth, hard yet gentle. His fingers are strong: I feel them in my hair and on my neck and down my arms and against my back. And I never want him to let me go.
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This is the definition of happiness: a whole day stretching out ahead of me, beautiful in its emptiness and simplicity.
Tabitha Suzuma
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It's always nice being wanted. Even if it's by the wrong person.
Tabitha Suzuma
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Quote of the day
People change and forget to tell each other. Too bad –causes so many mistakes.
Lillian Hellman
Tabitha Suzuma
Creative Commons
Born:
1975
(age 49)
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