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Steven Wright -
Babies
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Lots of my friends have
babies
, but I don't have any
babies
. But I have lots of friends;
babies
don't have any friends. They all have those baby-monitors so they can hear the baby from the other room, which I consider a form of wiretapping. One day there's gonna be a really smart baby who makes a fake recording of some fake baby noises... gonna crawl out of the window and go to Italy. I need one of those baby-monitors for my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about. Sometimes I talk to myself fluently in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious. It's a good thing a lot of people speak foreign languages, otherwise those people would have no one to talk to.
Steven Wright
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I had a dream... that all
babies
prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.
Steven Wright
Quote of the day
There are periods in history when change is necessary, and other periods when it is better to keep everything for the time as it is. The art of life is to be in the rhythm of your age.
Oswald Mosley
Steven Wright
Creative Commons
Born:
December 6, 1955
(age 69)
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