Sloane Crosley Short Quotes

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It's remarkable the logic we'll build around a misapprehension.

Sloane Crosley
Not all shabby is chic, just like not every porn actor is a star.

Sloane Crosley
I thought I'd had another few decades before my noise complaint years.

Sloane Crosley
No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.

Sloane Crosley
It takes a level of creative depression to hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and weep.

Sloane Crosley
I spent a lot of time waiting for things to happen to me, which is more or less as pathetic as it sounds.

Sloane Crosley
It's never good to fall in love with someone whom you'd have to stab in the eyeballs to elicit a response.

Sloane Crosley
We all deserve to be congratulated, but sadly that would mean there's no one left to do the congratulating.

Sloane Crosley
I was compiling a list in my head titled 'Reasons to Get Up: You Don't Have to Leave, but You Can't Pee Here.

Sloane Crosley
A human being can spend only so much time outside her comfort zone before she realizes she is still tethered to it.

Sloane Crosley
There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.

Sloane Crosley
It is my belief that people who speak of high school with a sugary fondness are bluffing away early-onset Alzheimer's.

Sloane Crosley
Hey there.' I cleared my throat. 'How are you?' I'm engaged!' Incidentally, this is an unacceptable answer to that question.

Sloane Crosley
Suburbia is too close to the country to have anything real to do and too close to the city to admit you have nothing real to do.

Sloane Crosley
When you spin a globe and point to a city and actually go to that city, you build an allowance of missed opportunities on the back end.

Sloane Crosley
And there's something about having an especially different name that makes it difficult to imagine what you would be like as a Jennifer.

Sloane Crosley
As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.

Sloane Crosley
People are less quick to applaud as you grow older. Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

Sloane Crosley
If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.

Sloane Crosley
Picture it in your mind's nostril: you get in a cab in time to catch twin thugs named Vomit and Cologne assaulting a defenseless pine-tree air freshener.

Sloane Crosley
The search for one's first professional job is not unlike a magical love potion: when one wants to fall in love with the next thing one sees, one generally does.

Sloane Crosley
Kids across the country have grown up accepting the idea that no one can harm your family if at least one of its adult members is in the shower. No one knows why.

Sloane Crosley
Every time I open the drawer, it's a trip down Memory Lane, which, if you don't turn off at the right exit, merges straight into the Masochistic Nostalgia Highway.

Sloane Crosley
I prefer to record all traumas and save them for later, playing them over and over so they can haunt me for a disproportionate number of weeks to come. It's very healthy.

Sloane Crosley
Because this is the beauty of strangers: we're all just doing our best to help each other out, motivated not by karma but by a natural instinct to help the greater whole.

Sloane Crosley