Russell Baker - Life Quotes

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It seems to be a law of American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

Russell Baker
The best thing about being President is that it gets you out of American life. I don't know what the theory is behind this, but it is a fact. The first thing we do with a President is shunt him off to a siding where nothing American can ever happen to him.

Russell Baker
Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you learned in the first half was wrong.

Russell Baker
While it is very sturdy of comfortable men to point out that life is unfair, the people it is unfair to are not apt to be morally or philosophically elevated by the announcement.
If you are going to preach that unfairness is inescapable for some, good sense suggests that you also accept the inevitability of beastly behavior by people who have to carry the burden.

Russell Baker
Urban people, of course, are terribly scared nowadays. They may yearn for society, but it is risky to go around talking to strangers, for a lot of reasons, one being that people are so accustomed not to have many human contacts that they are afraid they may find out they really prefer life that way.

Russell Baker
Two leading Congressional scientists, Senator Helms and Representative Hyde, have been doing pioneering research on the nature of life. This has produced the Helms-Hyde theory which states that scientific fact can be established by a majority vote of the United States Congress.

Russell Baker