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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
Rita Rudner
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Nobody is really happy with what's on their head. People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind.
Rita Rudner
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Here's the question, why do so many people bring infants to Vegas? What's going on? Can you cash him in for chips?
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We live in Los Angeles, where you are expected to move every two to four years, so people can see how well your career is going.
Rita Rudner
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I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
Jack Kerouac
Rita Rudner
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Born:
September 17, 1953
(age 71)
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