Patton Oswalt - Rated Quotes

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Every time I'm on a TV show, and I have a [sexually explicit] line, they never say, "Don't say that! At all!" Because I wouldn't; I know you're not supposed to say that. Instead they say: "Can you find a cute, G-rated way to say that?" Okay. Cleaned-up, G-rated filth is way creepier than straight-up filth. Which is creepier: "I wanna shove my hard cock in your wet pussy", or "I'm gonna fill your hoo-hah with goof juice!" That line right there is completely G-rated. You can say that on TV. And that's fucking horrifying.... Try saying that in bed, "I'm gonna fill your hoo-hah with goof juice," and prepare for the wintery freshness of Mace.

Patton Oswalt