Noël Coward Quotes

95 Sourced Quotes

Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. It should be served in small elegant portions; never spread it about like marmalade.

Noël Coward
I believe we should all behave quite differently if we lived in a warm, sunny climate all the time.

Noël Coward
There is one essential difference between me and Cuthbert Worsley. You forget that the great British public would not care if Cuthbert Worsley had slept with mice.
On 'coming out'

Noël Coward
Elyot: I met her on a house party in Norfolk.
Amanda: Very flat, Norfolk.
Elyot: There's no need to be unpleasant.
Amanda: That was no reflection on her, unless of course she made it flatter.

Noël Coward
Here ends the story of a ship, but there will always be other ships, for we are an island race. Through all our centuries, the sea has ruled our destiny. There will always be other ships and men to sail in them. It is these men, in peace or war, to whom we owe so much. Above all victories, beyond all loss, in spite of changing values in a changing world, they give to us, their countrymen, eternal and indomitable pride.

Noël Coward
One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!

Noël Coward
On being asked by a child what two mating dogs were doing:
The doggie in front has suddenly gone blind and the other one has very kindly offered to push him all the way to St Dunstan's.

Noël Coward
Tho' the pipes that supply the bathroom burst
And the lavatory makes you fear the worst,
It was used by Charles the First
Quite informally,
And later by George the Fourth
On a journey North.

Noël Coward
Gary: Beryl Willard is extremely competent. Beryl Willard has been extremely competent, man and boy, for forty years. In addition to her extreme competence, she has contrived, with uncanny skill, to sustain a spotless reputation for being the most paralysing, epoch-making, monumental, world-shattering, God-awful bore that ever drew breath... I will explain one thing further - it is this. No prayer, no bribe, no threat, no power, human or divine, would induce me to go to Africa with Beryl Willard. I wouldn't go as far as Wimbledon with Beryl Willard.
Liz: What he's trying to say is that he doesn't care for Beryl Willard.

Noël Coward
Time is the reef upon which all of our frail mystic ships are wrecked.

Noël Coward
There are bad times just around the corner,
There are dark clouds travelling through the sky
And it's no good whining
About a silver lining
For we know from experience that they won't roll by,
With a scowl and a frown
We'll keep our peckers down
And prepare for depression and doom and dread,
We're going to unpack our troubles from our old kitbag
And wait until we drop down dead.

Noël Coward
Mad about the boy,
It's pretty funny but I'm mad about the boy.
He has a gay appeal
That makes me feel
There may be something sad about the boy.

Noël Coward
Will it ever cloy
This odd diversity of misery and joy
I'm feeling quite insane and young again
And all because I'm mad about the boy

Noël Coward
On the silverscreen
He melts my foolish heart in every single scene
Although I'm quite aware that here and there are traces of the cad
About the boy

Noël Coward
Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

Noël Coward
In Rangoon
The heat of noon
Is just what the natives shun,
They put their Scotch
Or Rye down
And lie down.

Noël Coward
Anna Neagle playing Queen Victoria always made me think that Albert must have married beneath him.

Noël Coward
It's no use to go and take courses in playwriting any more than it's much use taking courses in acting. Better play to a bad matinee in Hull - it will teach you much more than a year of careful instruction. Come to think of it, I never did play to a good matinee in Hull...

Noël Coward
So if I could employ
A little magic that will finally destroy
This dream that pains me and enchains me
But I can't because I'm mad...
I'm mad about the boy

Noël Coward
My dear Jim's dead... No dear, he jumped off Waterloo Bridge - Yes, the one next to Charing Cross - No, no, no that's Blackfriars.
On the phone

Noël Coward
These family expeditions
Admittedly are a bore
But there is just one uncle that I positively adore. Poor Uncle Harry
Wanted to be a missionary
So he took a ship and sailed away.
This visionary
Hotly pursued by dear Aunt Mary
Found a South Sea isle on which to stay.
The natives greeted them kindly,
And invited them to dine
On yams and clams and human hams and vintage coconut wine
The taste of which was filthy
But the after-effects divine.

Noël Coward
People are wrong when they say that the opera isn't what it used to be. It is what it used to be — that's what's wrong with it!

Noël Coward
Claudette Colbert: I knew these lines backwards last night.
Noël Coward: And that's just the way you're saying them this morning.

Noël Coward
Grab it while you can — grab every scrap of happiness while you can

Noël Coward
Someday I'll find you,
Moonlight behind you,
True to the dream I am dreaming.

Noël Coward
If by any chance a playwright wishes to express a political opinion or a moral opinion or a philosophy, he must be a good enough craftsman to do it with so much spice of entertainment in it that the public get the message without being aware of it.

Noël Coward
She [Edith Evans] took her curtain calls as though she had just been un-nailed from the cross.

Noël Coward
AMANDA: I think very few people are completely normal really, deep down in their private lives.

Noël Coward
Mad Dogs & Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun.
The Japanese don't care to,
The Chinese wouldn't dare to,
The Hindus and Argentines
Sleep firmly from twelve to one,
But Englishmen
Detest a
Siesta.

Noël Coward
Do I believe in God? Let's say we have a working relationship.

Noël Coward