Mitch Hedberg - Banana Quotes

4 Sourced Quotes

View all Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I love sandwiches. Sandwiches are easy to eat, but I hate sandwiches at New York delis; too much fuckin' meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either side. Walk in, order a pastrami sandwich. "Alright, anything else?" "Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people!" "What kinda bread?" "Rye. No, fuck, banana. You got banana bread back there?" "What kinda cheese?" "Cottage." "Get the fuck out! I'm not makin' a banana bread, pastrami, cottage cheese sandwich! That would severely ruin my reputation!"

Mitch Hedberg

On a traffic light green means 'go' and yellow means 'yield', but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold on,' yellow means 'go ahead,' and red means, 'where the hell did you get that banana at?'

Mitch Hedberg

I was walking down the street the other day when this guy asked if I wanted a frozen banana... I said 'no' but then thought I might want a regular banana later, so... yeah.

Mitch Hedberg

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so … yeah".

Mitch Hedberg