Lisa See - Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (2005)

15 Sourced Quotes

View all Lisa See Quotes
Our words had to be circumspect. We could not write anything too negative about our circumstances. This was tricky, since the very form of a married woman's letter needed to include the usual complaints — that we were pathetic, powerless, worked to the bone, homesick, and sad. We were supposed to speak directly about our feelings without appearing ungrateful, no-account, or unfilial.

Lisa See
In every message she spoke of birds, of flight, of the world away. Even back then, she flew against what was presented to her. I wanted to cling to her wings and soar, no matter how intimidated I was.

Lisa See
You may be desperate, but never let anyone see you as anything less than a cultivated woman.

Lisa See
I've never thought much about whether I was happy or if I had fun as a child. I was a so-so girl who lived with a so-so family in a so-so village. I didn't know that there might be another way to live, and I didn't worry about it either.

Lisa See
I know a lot about women and their suffering, but I still know almost nothing about men.

Lisa See
For my entire life I longed for love. I knew it was not right for me — as a girl and later as a woman — to want or expect it, but I did, and this unjustified desire has been at the root of every problem I have experienced in my life.

Lisa See
Snow Flower was my old same for life. I had a greater and deeper love for her than I could ever feel for a person who was my husband.

Lisa See
I am old enough to know only too well my good and bad qualities, which were often one in the same.

Lisa See
The classics tell us that, in relationships, the one between teacher and student comes second only to the one between parent and child.

Lisa See
All these types of love come out of duty, respect, and gratitude. Most of them, as the women in my county know, are sources of sadness, rupture, and brutality.

Lisa See
Anyone who says that women do not have influence in men's decisions makes a vast and stupid mistake.

Lisa See
When I knew I couldn't suffer another moment of pain, and tears fell on my bloody bindings, my mother spoke softly into my ear, encouraging me to go one more hour, one more day, one more week, reminding me of the rewards I would have if I carried on a little longer. In this way, she taught me how to endure — not just the physical trials of footbinding and childbearing but the more torturous pain of the heart, mind, and soul.

Lisa See
In our country we call this type of mother love teng ai. My son has told me that in men's writing it is composed of two characters. The first means pain; the second means love. That is a mother's love.

Lisa See
I am still learning about love. I thought I understood it—not just mother love, but the love for one's parents, for one's husband, and for one's laotong. I've experienced the other types of love—pity love, respectful love and gratitude love. But looking at our secret fan with its messages written between Snow Flower and me over many years, I see that I didn't value the most important love—deep-heart love.

Lisa See
You make choices that are good and sound, but the gods have other plans for you.

Lisa See