I am still learning about love. I thought I understood it—not just mother love, but the love for one's parents, for one's husband, and for one's laotong. I've experienced the other types of love—pity love, respectful love and gratitude love. But looking at our secret fan with its messages written between Snow Flower and me over many years, I see that I didn't value the most important love—deep-heart love.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan (ed. 2011)