Laurence Sterne Quotes

179 Sourced Quotes

First, whenever a man talks loudly against religion, always suspect that it is not his reason, but his passions, which have got the better of his creed. A bad life and a good belief are disagreeable and troublesome neighbors, and where they separate, depend upon it, 'Tis for no other cause but quietness sake.

Laurence Sterne
Learning is the dictionary, but sense the grammar of science.

Laurence Sterne
Nothing is so perfectly amusement as a total change of ideas.

Laurence Sterne
As we jogg on, either laugh with me, or at me, or in short do any thing—only keep your temper.

Laurence Sterne
Tant pisandtant mieux, being two of the great hinges in French conversation, a stranger would do well to set himself right in the use of them before he gets to Paris.

Laurence Sterne
If death, said my father, reasoning with himself, is nothing but the separation of the soul from the body;—and if it is true that people can walk about and do their business without brains,—then certes the soul does not inhabit there.

Laurence Sterne
To write a book is for all the world like humming a song—be but in tune with yourself, madam, 'tis no matter how high or how low you take it.

Laurence Sterne
I think there is a fatality in it—I seldom go to the place I set out for.

Laurence Sterne
The very essence of gravity was design, and consequently deceit. it was no better, but often worse, than what a French wit had long ago defined it,—viz., A mysterious carriage of the body to cover the defects of the mind.

Laurence Sterne
I believe in my conscience I intercept many a thought which heaven intended for another man.

Laurence Sterne
A dwarf who brings a standard along with him to measure his own size, take my word, is a dwarf in more articles than one.

Laurence Sterne
As an Englishman does not travel to see Englishmen, I retired to my room.

Laurence Sterne
The life of a writer, whatever he might fancy to the contrary, was not so much a state of composition, as a state of warfare.

Laurence Sterne
True Shandeism, think what you will against it, opens the heart and lungs, and like all those affections which partake of its nature, it forces the blood and other vital fluids of the body to run freely through its channels, and makes the wheel of life run long and cheerfully round.

Laurence Sterne
'A soldier,' cried my Uncle Toby, interrupting the corporal, 'is no more exempt from saying a foolish thing, Trim, than a man of letters.'—'But not so often, an' please your honour,' replied the corporal.

Laurence Sterne
Writing, when properly managed, (as you may be sure I think mine is) is but a different name for conversation.

Laurence Sterne
Tant pis and tant mieux, being two of the great hinges in French conversation, a stranger would do well to set himself right in the use of them before he gets to Paris.

Laurence Sterne
It is a great pity but tis certain from every day's observation of man, that he may be set on fire like a candle, at either end provided there is a sufficient wick standing out.

Laurence Sterne
Is this a fit time, said my father to himself, to talk of Pensions and Grenadiers?

Laurence Sterne
If thou art rich, then show the greatness of thy fortune; or what is better, the greatness of thy soul, in the meekness of thy conversation; condescend to men of low estate, support the distressed, and patronize the neglected. Be great.

Laurence Sterne
Our armies swore terribly in Flanders, cried my uncle Toby, — but nothing to this. — For my own part, I could not have a heart to curse my dog so.

Laurence Sterne
I have got him fast hung up, quoth Didius to himself, upon one of the two horns of my dilemma — let him get off as he can.

Laurence Sterne
Whistled up to London, upon a Tom Fool's errand.

Laurence Sterne
But this is neither here nor there why do I mention it? Ask my pen, it governs me, I govern not it.

Laurence Sterne
Now hang it! quoth I, as I look'd towards the French coast—A man should know something of his own country too, before he goes abroad.

Laurence Sterne
'The poor soul will die:—' 'He shall not die, by G—', cried my uncle Toby.—The Accusing Spirit, which flew up to heaven's chancery with the oath, blushed as he gave it in;—and the Recording Angel, as he wrote it down, dropped a tear upon the word, and blotted it out for ever.

Laurence Sterne
When issues of events like these my father is waiting for, are hanging in the scales of fate, the mind has the advantage of changing the principle of expectation three times, without which it would not have power to see it out. Curiosity governs the first moment; and the second moment is all economy to justify the expense of the first — and for the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth moments, and so on to the day of judgment — 'tis a point of HONOUR. I need not be told, that the ethic writers have assigned this all to Patience; but that VIRTUE, methinks, has extent of domination sufficient of her own, and enough to do in it, without invading the few dismantled castles which HONOUR has left him upon the earth.

Laurence Sterne
So that the life of a writer, whatever he might fancy to the contrary, was not so much a state of composition, as a state of warfare; and his probation in it, precisely that of any other man militant upon earth,--both depending alike, not half so much upon the degrees of his WIT--as his RESISTANCE.

Laurence Sterne
It is not in the power of every one to taste humor, however he may wish it; it is the gift of God! and a true feeler always brings half the entertainment along with him.

Laurence Sterne
Heaven be their resource who have no other but the charity of the world, the stock of which, I fear, is no way sufficient for the many great claims which are hourly made upon it.

Laurence Sterne