Jonathan Swift Quotes

300 Sourced Quotes

We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are the same.

Jonathan Swift

When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign; that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.

Jonathan Swift

If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.

Jonathan Swift

Words are but wind; and learning is nothing but words; ergo, learning is nothing but wind.

Jonathan Swift

It is a maxim, that those to whom everybody allows the second place have an undoubted title to the first.

Jonathan Swift

It is likewise to be observed that this society hath a peculiar chant and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to multiply.

Jonathan Swift

I love white Portugal wine better than claret, champagne, or burgundy. I have a sad vulgar appetite.

Jonathan Swift

I am convinced that if the virtuosi could once find out a world in the moon, with a passage to it, our women would wear nothing but what directly came from thence.

Jonathan Swift

I said there was a society of men among us, bred up from their youth in the art of proving by words multiplied for the purpose, that white is black, and black is white, according as they are paid. To this society all the rest of the people are as slaves.

Jonathan Swift

This Day, whate'er the Fates decree;
Shall still be kept with Joy by me:
This Day then, let us not be told,
That you are sick, and I grown old

Jonathan Swift

'T is happy for him that his father was before him.

Jonathan Swift

My horses understand me tolerably well; I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity with me, and friendship of each other.

Jonathan Swift

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.

Jonathan Swift

…one enemy can do more hurt, than ten friends can do good.

Jonathan Swift

Epitaph for himself:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Swift, Professor of Holy Theology, for thirty years Dean of this cathedral church, where savage indignation can tear his heart no more. Go, traveller, and if you can, imitate one who with his utmost strength protected liberty. He died in the year 1745, on the 19th of October, aged seventy-eight.

Jonathan Swift

Who can deny that all men are violent lovers of the truth, when we see them so positive in their errors, which they will maintain out of their zeal for truth, although they contradict themselves every day of their lives.

Jonathan Swift

So weak thou art, that fools thy power despise;
And yet so strong, thou triumph'st o'er the wise.

Jonathan Swift

Neither is it safe to count upon the weakness of any man's understanding, who is thoroughly possessed of the spirit of revenge to sharpen his invention.

Jonathan Swift

When I am in danger of bursting, I will go and whisper among the reeds.

Jonathan Swift

I'm up and down, and roundabout, Yet all the world can't find me out; Though hundreds have employ'd their leisure, They never yet could find my measure. I'm found almost in every garden, Nay, in the compass of a farthing. There's neither chariot, coach, nor mill, Can move an inch except I will.

Jonathan Swift

Last week I saw a woman flayed, and you will hardly believe, how much it altered her person for the worse.

Jonathan Swift

She has more goodness in her little finger, than he has in his whole body.

Jonathan Swift

I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be called to it, that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed on me to publish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels, with directions to hire some young gentleman of either university to put them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin Dampier did, by my advice, in his book called "A Voyage round the world."

Jonathan Swift

Usually speaking, the worst-bred person in company is a young traveller just returned from abroad.

Jonathan Swift

Pride, ill nature, and want of sense, are the three great sources of ill manners.

Jonathan Swift