Jonathan Swift - A Tale of a Tub

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Books, like men their authors, have no more than one way of coming into the world, but there are ten thousand to go out of it, and return no more.

Jonathan Swift
Last week I saw a woman flayed, and you will hardly believe, how much it altered her person for the worse.

Jonathan Swift
He made it a part of his religion never to say grace to his meat.

Jonathan Swift
It is with wits as with razors, which are never so apt to cut those they are employed on as when they have lost their edge.

Jonathan Swift
We of this age have discovered a shorter, and more prudent method to become scholars and wits, without the fatigue of reading or of thinking.

Jonathan Swift
It is a maxim, that those to whom everybody allows the second place have an undoubted title to the first.

Jonathan Swift
What though his head be empty, provided his commonplace book be full.

Jonathan Swift
There are certain common privileges of a writer, the benefit whereof, I hope, there will be no reason to doubt; particularly, that where I am not understood, it shall be concluded, that something very useful and profound is couched underneath; and again, that whatever word or sentence is printed in a different character, shall be judged to contain something extraordinary either or wit of sublime.

Jonathan Swift
I have one word to say upon the subject of profound writers, who are grown very numerous of late; and I know very well the judicious world is resolved to list me in that number. I conceive therefore, as to the business of being profound, that it is with writers as with wells - a person with good eyes may see to the bottom of the deepest, provided any water be there: and often when there is nothing in the world at the bottom besides dryness and dirt, though it be but a yard and a-half under-ground, it shall pass, however, for wondrous deep upon no wiser reason than because it is wondrous dark

Jonathan Swift
Seamen have a custom, when they meet a whale, to fling him out an empty tub by way of amusement, to divert him from laying violent hands upon the ship.

Jonathan Swift
As boys do sparrows, with flinging salt upon their tails.

Jonathan Swift
Such a man, truly wise, creams off Nature leaving the sour and the dregs for philosophy and reason to lap up.

Jonathan Swift