Larry the Cable Guy - Toilet Quotes

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I'll tell ya the one thing you don't wanna buy at the dollar store - toilet paper. (laughs) I might as well have just used the dollar.

Larry the Cable Guy

I like Halloween, you people like Halloween? [Audience cheers] I love it, too. My brother got in trouble last Halloween for toilet-papering people's houses. He said, "Dude, I didn't know that was illegal!" I said, "It ain't, but you are supposed to use fresh toilet paper. Pull your pants up and stop pooping in those pumpkins, too! For God's sake, you're the sheriff!"

Larry the Cable Guy

You ever go eat breakfast at Denny's, and then go to the toilet and sit in there so long you gotta order lunch from the stool? You ever do that? Now I know why they call it the Grand Slam?

Larry the Cable Guy