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Larry the Cable Guy - Toilet Quotes

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I'll tell ya the one thing you don't wanna buy at the dollar store - toilet paper. (laughs) I might as well have just used the dollar.

Larry the Cable Guy
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I like Halloween, you people like Halloween? [Audience cheers] I love it, too. My brother got in trouble last Halloween for toilet-papering people's houses. He said, "Dude, I didn't know that was illegal!" I said, "It ain't, but you are supposed to use fresh toilet paper. Pull your pants up and stop pooping in those pumpkins, too! For God's sake, you're the sheriff!"

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You ever go eat breakfast at Denny's, and then go to the toilet and sit in there so long you gotta order lunch from the stool? You ever do that? Now I know why they call it the Grand Slam?

Larry the Cable Guy

Quote of the day

One of the first signs of the beginnings of understanding is the wish to die. This life appears unbearable, another unattainable. One is no longer ashamed of wanting to die; one asks to be moved from the old cell, which one hates, to a new one, which one will only in time come to hate.
Franz Kafka

Larry the Cable Guy

Larry the Cable Guy
Creative Commons

Born: February 17, 1963 (age 62)
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