Larry the Cable Guy - People Quotes

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Do deaf people have alarm clocks? I asked a deaf guy that one time, the sumbitch just stared at me.

Larry the Cable Guy

I got so pissed I took a little poll to see if anyone was sick of gettin' taxed as much as I am. I called 100 people one night and here's the results: everyone I polled said, "You dumb ass, it's three o'clock in the morning!"

Larry the Cable Guy

That show Biggest Loser is a dumb show. If I wanted to see fat people struggle with their weight, I'd go to my family reunion!

Larry the Cable Guy

I like Halloween, you people like Halloween? [Audience cheers] I love it, too. My brother got in trouble last Halloween for toilet-papering people's houses. He said, "Dude, I didn't know that was illegal!" I said, "It ain't, but you are supposed to use fresh toilet paper. Pull your pants up and stop pooping in those pumpkins, too! For God's sake, you're the sheriff!"

Larry the Cable Guy