Kin Hubbard Quotes

31 Sourced Quotes

Some folks pay a compliment like they expected a receipt.

Kin Hubbard
Th' thing I like about general practitioners is that you don't have t' let 'em know a week ahead when you're goin' t' be sick.

Kin Hubbard
When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.

Kin Hubbard
It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game.

Kin Hubbard
Nobuddy ever listened t' reason on a empty stomach.

Kin Hubbard
Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.

Kin Hubbard
Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty, while bein' above suspicion is about th' only compensation fer bein' homely.

Kin Hubbard
If at first you do succeed don't take any more chances.

Kin Hubbard
Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

Kin Hubbard
Some folks can look so busy doin' nothin' that they seem indispensable.

Kin Hubbard
Ther's still a few honest folks left but they never seem t' find anything you lose.

Kin Hubbard
It's no disgrace t' be poor, but it might as well be.

Kin Hubbard
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Kin Hubbard
We'd all like t'vote fer th'best man, but he's never a candidate.

Kin Hubbard
It's purty hard t' be efficient without bein' obnoxious.

Kin Hubbard
Makin' a long stay short is a great aid t' popularity.

Kin Hubbard
If capital an' labor ever do git t'gether it's good night fer th' rest of us.

Kin Hubbard
Few things make us feel finer than havin' our judgment vindicated.

Kin Hubbard
Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.

Kin Hubbard
Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They jest can't buzz any slower.

Kin Hubbard
Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

Kin Hubbard
Never tell the box-office man that you can't hear well or he will sell you a seat where can can't see either.

Kin Hubbard
Th' only way t' entertain some folks is t' listen t' 'em.

Kin Hubbard
Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.

Kin Hubbard
When a feller says, 'It hain't the money, but th' principle o' th' thing,' it's the money.

Kin Hubbard
Nine-tenths of our crimes an' calamities are made possible by th' automobile. It has unleashed all th' pent-up criminal tendencies o' th' ages. It's th' central figure in murders, hold-ups, burglaries, accidents, elopements, failures an' abscondments. It has well nigh jimmed th' American home.... No girl is missin' that wuzn' last seen steppin' in a strange automobile.... An' ther hain't a day rolls by that somebuddy hain't sellin' ther sewin' machine, or ther home, or somethin' t' pay on an automobile.... Maybe th' jails an' workhouses are empty, but that's not because th' world is gittin' better. It's because all th' criminals escape in automobiles.

Kin Hubbard
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.

Kin Hubbard
Nobuddy ever fergits where he buried a hatchet.

Kin Hubbard
Classic music is th' kind that we keep thinkin'll turn into a tune.

Kin Hubbard
When a fellow says, "It hain't the money, but th' principle o' the thing," it's th' money.

Kin Hubbard