Kevin Hearne - Tricked (2012)

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Not everyone can be bribed with meat, Oberon." "They Can't? Oh! you mean they're vegetarian." "No, they eat meat. It just doesn't sway their decision making process." "Well that... that's just wrong, Atticus! Are they Monsters? It's like they have no moral center!

Kevin Hearne
No worries, Atticus. I will snarf surreptitiously. And I should get bacon, because my adverb was two syllables longer than yours, plus a bonus for alliteration." I grinned. "It's a deal. You're the best hound ever.

Kevin Hearne
It's best not to experiment on yourself. Bacon practically froze himself to death in one of his experiments and died of pneumonia. {Right! Bacon must be heated. Knew that already, but thanks for the reminder.}

Kevin Hearne
But now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped a sleek, stinky ferret there. Guilt ferrets are bastards.

Kevin Hearne
He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone.

Kevin Hearne
That's what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside. "I've run into some of those at the dog park," Oberon said. "They're usually attached to Chihuahuas.

Kevin Hearne
There is always a price to pay for badassery. Neo was a badass in the Matrix and the Matrix Reloaded, but the price he had to pay was The Matrix Revolutions.

Kevin Hearne
As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time. You can be told that reading Victor Hugo will sap your will to live, but you can't understand what it means until you've read a few chapters and your eyes are glazed over and someone has to revive you with a defibrillator.

Kevin Hearne
I would never behave with so little dignity. Nor would I wish to be confronted in such a manner by anyone else. Vampires inspire screams, not squees. Involuntary urination is common, I grant, but it properly flows from a sense of terror, not an ecstatic sense of hero worship.

Kevin Hearne