Joseph Heller - Major Quotes

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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Based on quote from Shakespeare, Twelfth Night Act II, scene v: Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.

Joseph Heller

Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office.

Joseph Heller

Major Major had lied, and it was good. He was not really surprised that it was good, for he had observed that people who did lie were, on the whole, more resourceful and ambitious and successful than people who did not lie.

Joseph Heller

From now on I'm thinking only of me. Major Danby replied indulgently with a superior smile: But, Yossarian, suppose everyone felt that way?
Then, said Yossarian, I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?

Joseph Heller

She was a crazy mathematics major from the Wharton School of Business who could not count to twenty-eight each month without getting into trouble.

Joseph Heller