Jordan Sonnenblick Short Quotes

20 Sourced Quotes

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Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.

Jordan Sonnenblick
I dove on those papers like Sherlock Holmes on a cappuccino binge.

Jordan Sonnenblick
Chicks dig a dude who's sporting the latest eggplant turtleneck styles.

Jordan Sonnenblick
If you promise you will get better instead of dying, I promise I will, too.

Jordan Sonnenblick
Not, like, that, boychik, you sound like a herd of elephants charging through a music store.

Jordan Sonnenblick
There are really no guidelines whatsoever, because this is the kind of thing that only happens to ME.

Jordan Sonnenblick
Mr. Watras asked me whether I was practicing, and I told him I was practicing my tissue basketball skills.

Jordan Sonnenblick
It was a cheesy cheeseball, covered with Cheez Whiz and served on a bed of Cheez-Its. With a side of queso.

Jordan Sonnenblick
And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

Jordan Sonnenblick
Instead of agonizing about the things you can't change, why don't you try working on the things you can change

Jordan Sonnenblick
But nobody ever tells you in advance when you should concentrate on the good times-that's why you're supposed to do it every day.

Jordan Sonnenblick
Did you really JUST fall, Jeffrey? Why does everybody in my family talk in these dramatic CAPITAL LETTERS all the time? Why am I the only calm one?

Jordan Sonnenblick
Note to self: It's hard to attain a state of no-mind when you're incredibly pumped up on tea and sugar and have to urinate every three and a half minutes.

Jordan Sonnenblick
You look like a handsome young man…although you might want to zip your fly. Mom! What? Should I have not told you and left it for everyone else to notice at the dance?

Jordan Sonnenblick
My little blurb wasn't going to win me any speaker-of-the-year awards, but at least I hadn't tripped and fallen off the stage, crushing and killing three elderly jazz fans.

Jordan Sonnenblick
Renee was beautiful, but she was my friend now. On the other hand, Annette was my friend, but now she was beautiful. makes about as much sense as anything ever does with girls

Jordan Sonnenblick
Who's that? That's the King. Who's he? The Duke. Who's she? The Princess. What do they call you? The Count. What does that make me? Umm…how about the Peasant? And the name stuck.

Jordan Sonnenblick
The only time I can ever remember Steven crying over any of it was after my treatment, when I tried to use my foot on his bass drum pedal, and we realized I could never play a drum set.

Jordan Sonnenblick
Steven, I know I phrased that as a question, but it was really a command. Yes, but mine is…ummm…private. Private, Steven? Yes, Miss Palma. PRIVATE Steven? Again with the capital letters?

Jordan Sonnenblick
You can be our critic. Would you dig that? (Yes, he was the last Man in America who could say dig with a straight face without referring to the process of using a tool to remove dirt from the ground.)

Jordan Sonnenblick