Joey Comeau Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

View all Joey Comeau Quotes
Romance is all about making a story out of our love

Joey Comeau
Well, it's possible to be mentally ill and rational.

Joey Comeau
My other pro-tolerance message is also condescending.

Joey Comeau
Live for today you retarded little shit. The end is near.

Joey Comeau
There are plenty of fish in the sea, if I run out of women.

Joey Comeau
I want to make something, and I want people to know I made it.

Joey Comeau
My problem is that I can't come unless Johnny Cash is playing.

Joey Comeau
The family that prays together, still probably dies in the fire.

Joey Comeau
Alzheimer's disease is death before death, and I'm terrified of it.

Joey Comeau
My dead family and I are in your debt, and I long to help you in any way I can.

Joey Comeau
I never wanted anything to happen to my parents, but a hero needs an origin story.

Joey Comeau
The world needs balance, and if I have to be unbalanced to supply it then so be it.

Joey Comeau
The depression and suicidal fantasies of three years ago are nothing but a memory to me now.

Joey Comeau
I had a shirt made up that says, "I consistently make poor life choices." The shirt was not very popular.

Joey Comeau
Now, I recognize that these are very real possibilities." I said. "But let's pretend for a second that they aren't.

Joey Comeau
I have a form of ESP that allows me to consistently pick losing lottery numbers, and generally make poor life choices.

Joey Comeau
Sometimes Margaret tells herself that there's a moral difference between killing kittens for no reason and what she does.

Joey Comeau
Now I feel I am ready to face a world with sharp corners and all. I feel I am ready to come to work for Abrasion Enterprises.

Joey Comeau
I've always known I'd be a bank robber. So judge all you want, ladies and gentlemen. Because you never did become an astronaut.

Joey Comeau
I feel the way bank robbers must feel before they go out on that last job that ends up getting them all killed. That is to say, optimistic.

Joey Comeau
And when our sun explodes and we are all destroyed, we'll be rocks and chunks of I am not sure what, and maybe we'll rain down on somewhere else.

Joey Comeau
When the end comes, I hope it's as strange as that. I hope that the sky tears open and the world is washed with colors that we've never seen before.

Joey Comeau
Sometimes I think dent-resistant side panels are a waste of money, but then I remember ladies be always throwing themselves at my car, and titties can wreak havoc on a paint job.

Joey Comeau
I am writing to apply for the position of bookkeeper. Attached, you will find my list of qualifications. I have been keeping books for four years now, and I am never going to give them back.

Joey Comeau
... There's a romance to danger. There's a romance to drinking, to drugs, to petty crime and to heartbreak and loneliness. All of those things can be used to make the STORY of our lives better.

Joey Comeau