Joe Dunthorne Quotes

11 Sourced Quotes

My mother tells me I do not chew my food enough; she says I am making it harder for my body to get the essential nutrients it needs. If she were here, I would remind her that I am eating a blueberry Pop-Tart.

Joe Dunthorne
I spin around on the swivel chair and look up at the ceiling; Oliver being Oliver being Oliver being Oliver. I am suddenly aware of the separation between my-actual-self and myself-as-seen-by-others. Who would win in an arm wrestle? Who is better-looking? Who has the higher IQ?

Joe Dunthorne
That's a big love letter," she says, squinting. I know what I'm going to say and for a moment I wish there was a film crew documenting my day-to-day life: "I've got a big heart," I say.

Joe Dunthorne
Exercise II. Write a diary, imagining that you are trying to make an old person jealous. I have written an example to get you started: Dear Diary, I spent the morning admiring my skin elasticity. God alive, I feel supple.

Joe Dunthorne
After that, we had a short conversation about how your body can sometimes seem totally separate. She said her body can feel like a distant bureaucracy controlled by telegrams from her brain, and I said my body is sometimes like that of Mario Mario, being controlled with a Nintendo joypad. Mario's surname is Mario.

Joe Dunthorne
I would never say snog. I would say osculate." She looks at me as if to say: why do you exist?

Joe Dunthorne
It is strange to hear your mother talk about being human because, honestly, it's too easy to forget.

Joe Dunthorne
I want to grab her collarbones as if they were handlebars.

Joe Dunthorne
I bought a packet of Trojan® Ultra Pleasure Extra Sensitive condoms: 'No. 1 in AMERICA'. They smell nothing like a positive first sexual experience.

Joe Dunthorne
Anger does not come easy to me. It is something I have to encourage, like a greyhound in second place.

Joe Dunthorne
There will be birds and if they write your name in the sky then you can get on the buses and if they don't you have to die on the floor.

Joe Dunthorne