Joan Rivers - Love Quotes

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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing and what's there stinks.

Joan Rivers

Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.

Joan Rivers

It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.

Joan Rivers

The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.

Joan Rivers

I love gay and lesbian parents. But I think we need a law that says lesbians and gay men have to raise their children together. This way, the kids would not only know how to build bookshelves, but they'd also instinctively know how to decorate them.

Joan Rivers