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Birth
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa, you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'
Joan Rivers
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My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Joan Rivers
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My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.
Joan Rivers
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A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills—she had 14 kids but didn't give a shit.
Joan Rivers
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Nobody ever did anything very foolish except from some strong principle.
William Lamb, 2nd Viscount Melbourne
Joan Rivers
Wikipedia
Born:
June 8, 1933
Died:
September 4, 2014
(aged 81)
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